Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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