these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
