they need to just BURY HIM!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize