Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
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JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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