Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize