I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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