Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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