So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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