Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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