so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize