I'm going to jail i love you
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
