Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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