Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
