we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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