just tell him i said nine months
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
