I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
