thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
