if you like me you must not know who I am
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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