I wanna bring you to show and tell
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
