She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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