shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
