Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
