69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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