yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
