pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
