Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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