I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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