STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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