So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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