He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
