i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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