I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
