How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize