one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
