I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
