well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
