We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
