Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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