You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
