Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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