I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
