cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
