Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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