Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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