yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
