You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
