So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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