Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
