In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
