I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
