I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
