Dual....:-)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
