also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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