if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
