I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
