Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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