she smelled like a LAN party
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
