I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I wish you could order shots online.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
